Understanding Physical and Emotional Pain: A Lesson from a Trampoline Fall
When my stepdaughter had an accident on the trampoline recently, it reminded me of how intertwined physical and emotional pain can be—and how easily we overlook the latter.
She had fallen off the trampoline, scraping her face and bruising her shoulder. The physical pain was obvious, but what lingered wasn’t just the scrape or the bruise. It was the emotions she felt—the sadness, loneliness, and embarrassment—that seemed to hurt the most.
The Accident: More Than a Physical Injury
When she walked over to us crying, we immediately jumped into action. Ice packs, first-aid kits, and comforting words were all brought out to soothe her physical injuries. But despite all the care, she continued crying for hours, telling herself (and us), “I think I’m concussed,” and, “Why did no one see me fall.”
It wasn’t until later that night, as she lay in bed winding down, that I realized what was really going on. Her physical pain was real, but it wasn’t the main issue. The stories forming in her head—"No one saw me fall, so no one cares about me”—were amplifying her emotional pain.
What Are Physical and Emotional Pain?
Physical pain is straightforward. You scrape your knee, twist an ankle, or bruise your shoulder, and the body reacts. Emotional pain, on the other hand, is trickier to spot. It’s the sadness, embarrassment, or loneliness that arises when something happens to us.
In my stepdaughter’s case, her scrape was healing, but her emotions weren’t. No one saw her fall, and that absence made her feel unseen and unloved—a much deeper wound than the one on her face.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
One thing I’ve learned is that emotional pain often comes from the stories we tell ourselves about what happened. For her, the story became, “Nobody cares about me.”
The mind is powerful, and these stories can shape our perception of events and ourselves. How many of us carry stories like this from childhood into adulthood? Stories like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“People always leave me.”
“No one cares about me.”
These false narratives can weigh us down long after the physical event is over.
How to Heal Emotional Pain
Here’s the thing: emotional pain can’t be fixed with ice packs or Band-Aids. But there are ways to heal:
Name the Emotion
Help yourself (or your child) identify what they’re feeling. Is it sadness, embarrassment, or something else? For my stepdaughter, it was likely loneliness and a sense of being unseen.Separate the Story from the Fact
Ask, “Is this story true?” In her case, the fact was that no one saw her fall. But the story, “Nobody cares about me,” wasn’t true.Validate and Let Go
It’s important to acknowledge the pain. It’s okay to feel sad or embarrassed. But remind yourself (or your child) that these feelings don’t define you—and it’s safe to let them go.
A Final Reflection
That night, I sat with her and explained the difference between physical and emotional pain. “Your scrape hurts,” I told her, “but I think it’s your feelings that hurt the most. Maybe you felt sad, lonely, or even embarrassed when you fell.”
She listened quietly, and though she didn’t say much, I saw her take it in. Later, she admitted to her dad, “Nobody cares about me.” It was a small but powerful moment of awareness—and a chance for her to release that false story.
How many of us have had similar stories in our lives? A small incident as a child, unaddressed, turns into a belief that we carry for years. That’s why healing is so important—not just the physical wounds but the emotional ones, too.
Our thoughts aren’t facts, but they are powerful. Learning to question and let go of them is a step toward true healing. Moments like these remind me of quiet unfoldings—the subtle yet profound realizations that emerge when we gently confront our inner stories and find clarity within.
With love,
